Gilles Simon vs. Gael Monfils – A Terrible Splendor

If Gilles Simon vs. Gael Monfils was a song, it was Rebecca Black’s “Friday.” Although excruciatingly painful, once you get sucked in there’s no going back. Masochistic as it may be, you simply cannot turn away.

If it was a movie, it was “Groundhog Day.” Rallies. Injuries. Theatrics. The match as a whole. Everything just…kept…going. Over…and over…again.  Right when it looked like Simon would seal the deal in straight sets, Hisense Arena saw its shadow as the sun set on Saturday night in Melbourne and we were left with three more hours of Simon-Monfils.

If it was a novel, it was–quite simply–“Les Misérables.”

Did we see it coming? Sure. Simon and Monfils are two of the most time-honored human backboards (er, pushers?) in the history of men’s tennis. When they are on the same court at the same time, good things just do not happen. Their only previous Australian Open encounter ended in Monfils retirement after he lost the third set 6-1. In their last two doubles partnerships, Simon and Monfils won a combined three games–accepting three breadticks and one bagel in four total set.

They once played a 61-shot rally, in the 2011 Hamburg quarterfinals:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8iunyDh4ms]

Furthermore, both Frenchmen were wounded warriors even before this one started. Simon withdrew from Sydney due to a neck problem and in his first two Aussie Open matches he lost sets to Filippo Volandri (yep, to Volandri on a hard court!) and to Jesse Levine. After battling past Alexandr Dolgopolov, Monfils somehow survived Yen-Hsun Lu despite hardly moving (because of fatigue and/or knee problems) throughout their entire third set.

But did we see this coming? No. Not to this extent. Nobody could have prepared themselves for what transpired in the Australian Open third round.

What exactly was “this”???? I’m not quite sure and I don’t think anyone else is, either. The replay of this match (God forbid) could be watched over and over again and it would never been fully understood. Sky Sports commentator Simon Reed called it “weird” and “bizarre” on several occasions and after it was over he announced that it “broke every rule in tennis.”

Alas, a tidbit of what we think we think may or may not have transpired in and around Hisense Arena on Saturday night:

At the end of the second set, they engaged in a (count it) 71-ball rally.
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zk_rhsDxUFs&feature=youtu.be]

As early as the start of the third set, both players seemed ready to capitulate. Simon was getting treatment on both knees, one thigh, and a forearm. Monfils was just being Monfils–Bataan Death March after Bataan Death March in between points only to channel his inner “Sonic the Hedgehog” during rallies. At one point in the fourth set with Monfils serving, Monfils could not hold onto his racket due to hand cramps and Simon was unable to stand upright because of leg problems.

More than two hours later, they were still standing in what had turned into an outrageous fifth set. Of course, both Simon and Simon needed help to stay on two feet.

Simon asks for chocolate:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MzIyKmqEFtM]

Monfils guzzles Coke:
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPED4-ND44Y]

Simon gave a throat-slash sign at the conclusion of a fourth set in which he managed a mere one game, suggesting retirement. But somewhere within what was left of both his brain and his body, he thought better of it.

They exchanged early breaks of serve in the fifth before Simon broke again to serve for the match at 5-4. Not ready to go away quite yet, Monfils broke back then held for 6-5. This time it was Simon’s turn to right the ship, and the No. 14 seed did just that–taking care of his serve to stay alive before breaking one more time for 7-6. At long last, Monfils had nothing left and Simon earned the match’s 17th break to clinch a 6-4, 6-4, 4-6, 1-6, 8-6 victory.

Twitter helps tell the tale (plus a whole page of tweets from players as they watched the match):

Speaking of twitter, both Simon and Monfils were trending worldwide throughout the fifth set. For several minutes, “Simon” was the No. 2 worldwide trend behind none other than “Justin Bieber.”

The stats tell a similar story as the tweets:

It ended after four hours and 43 minutes 178 unforced errors, and the final set alone required 94 minutes to be completed. Simon collapsed on his bench (conscious, but surely not of a clear mind) and he was eventually taken to a hospital.

If this was a tennis match, it was…well…it was Gilles Simon vs. Gael Monfils.

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